I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
