I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize