Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
