There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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