i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
