i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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