are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
