some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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