he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
