i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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