is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
