I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
