i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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