Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
