Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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