Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize