Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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