Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
