idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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