I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
