Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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