Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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