btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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