it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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