im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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