He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
