peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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