it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
