I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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