Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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