i don't like sucking hair
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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