Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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