I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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