Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
