I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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