Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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