Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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