Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
