K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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