he shaved USA in his pubs
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
