I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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