You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How does one acquire holy water?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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