I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize