we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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