She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
