My nipple is on Facebook.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
