Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize