There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you win again, gameday.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
