Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
