a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
