We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
