Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
