My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
That's how pantless uber rides happen
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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