all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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