I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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