just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
