she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
we're so committed to being not committed
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
