I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
