So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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