he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
how does that bad decision feel?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
