you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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