sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
third nipple confirmed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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